Monday, March 24, 2014

Pleasing Others and Life Lessons

At heart, I am a people pleaser. As much as I like to create my own way, I also am guilty of wanting the approval of others. Aren't we all on some level? 

Stefan and I are fortunate to have a lot of people in our lives, both friends and family. Some know us intimately, they know our philosophy on raising kids, our daily struggles, places of happiness, intentions, etc. Other are more fringe family and friends that know us from afar. 

It seems to be the some of the people that know us from afar that seem to have some issues with some of our life choices as of late. 

This leads me to my current dilemma. Do I try to explain myself to someone who truly knows very little about my day to day life, and is questioning our intentions on a situation they simply know nothing about? It is worth explaining myself to someone who has revealed that they have such a negative (and incorrect) perception of our lives anyways? 

Or do I just let this be water under the bridge and count my blessings that the people in my inner circle know me well enough to be outraged with the judgments made. I truly wish the other party no ill-will, but am not quite sure if it's even worth my time to try to make amends. I think the higher road would be to just be polite when I see or hear from them and move on with life. But me being the people pleaser that I am feel the need to make things right and gain the approval or some sense of understanding.

As you can tell, I'm still working through all of this. God bless Stefan for listening to me and helping me work through all of my worries. Truly, God blessed me with a great man. I love a man that un-apologetically stands up for what he believes in, for his wife and for his family. I value his outlook on life so much and his wisdom never ceases to amaze me. 

If anything, this situation has made me incredibly grateful for the friends and family in my life that know us well and know my heart. I truly feel that I have the best friends in the world (and I believe everyone should feel this way about their group of friends) that have my back in every situation. I love the random call/texts I get that they are thinking of me and asking me if I want them to "make a call". Truly these are the people that I should worry about pleasing and making happy - and the best part about that...they are happy with me just the way I am. 

Whew...this was a heavy one guys; sorry. I'll be back soon with fun pictures from Stefan's best friends wedding this weekend and Audrey's debut as a flower girl. The cuteness is going to blow you away.


  1. So sorry you are having to go through this challenging situation, Rachel. My husband & I went through something very similar when our little guy was born two years ago. To this day, I'm still really not over it as it was with someone in our immediate family. However, since that situation, I've become so much more confident in my decisions as a mother & the decisions that we make for our family. We know what's best for our individual families & I don't want you to feel that you have to justify those decisions to anyone. :) You are a wonderful mama & make hard choices every day all while making the decisions that are best for your family. Hang in there!

  2. I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this situation :(. I find it to be REALLY hard not to get carried away when someone sticks their nose into something that doesn't concern them whatsoever. Take deep breaths and like you said, surround yourself with the people that matter to you the most!

  3. I know this is a little odd, coming from someone who only reads your blog, but I was actually going to request a post on how you juggle your amazing career with your little ones. I'm a new lawyer getting married this year, and I've been so impressed at how you maintain such a great family life alongside your career. So whatever the criticism is, you're an inspiration to others :)



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